Since the NHL lockout is putting a real damper on your fall, I figured I would try to help.  I have compiled a list of things that may help fill the void.

1. Pound on your neighbor's window and yell at them.  Now, be careful!  You can't use the same force you would on the glass at the games, or you will break your neighbor's window.  But if you have a beef to pick with them, this could kill 2 birds with 1 stone.

2. Watch Canadian TV.  You miss the weird way everyone talks, I get it.  This might help.  It could be sort of difficult to find this, so you may need to settle for HGTV.  A lot of those shows are produced in Canada.

3. Listen to Centerfold.  This song used to be played all the time at the games.  Although, now that I think about it...maybe it was Freezeframe.  Damnit.  It was a long time ago and they are practically the same song.  Listen to them both...whatever.  Here are links Centerfold Freeze Frame

4.  Watch football while sharpening knives.  This will get you the aural pleasure of hockey.  Tough hits, and skates.  'Nuff said.

5. Watch old games of other team.  This would probably be the best solution because you'd get to actually watch hockey and since it's not your team, you won't know the outcome of the game.  They have DVDs and such for this. 

Other suggestions welcome.  And think of it this way...at least we don't live in Canada.  Those people have nothing else to live for.  Hockey is life up there!